Dallas Cowboys
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
THE
AMERICA'S TEAM
E N Q U I R E R
"Cowboys News So Fake You'd Swear Jerry Jones Wrote It Himself."
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
Dallas Cowboys
Breaking
Cowboys once again crowned "America's Team" by a poll conducted entirely inside their own stadium Star logo at midfield reportedly visible from space, playoff success remains harder to locate Front office drama ranked more competitive than the actual division race for the eleventh straight year National broadcast schedule confirms Cowboys will be on television regardless of record, again AT&T Stadium video board so large it reportedly finishes the game before the players do Cowboys once again crowned "America's Team" by a poll conducted entirely inside their own stadium Star logo at midfield reportedly visible from space, playoff success remains harder to locate Front office drama ranked more competitive than the actual division race for the eleventh straight year National broadcast schedule confirms Cowboys will be on television regardless of record, again AT&T Stadium video board so large it reportedly finishes the game before the players do

Jerry's Box Reports Record Occupancy For A Home Game

Officials describe the box as 'fully staffed, as always.'

January Watch Column Renewed Despite Historical Difficulty Reaching January

Editors call the renewal 'an act of pure optimism.'

The 90s Vault Reports Record Visitor Traffic, Three Decades Later

Curators describe interest as 'undiminished by the passage of time.'

Front Office Insists Cowboys Are 'In On Everybody' This Offseason

The phrase has now been issued in some form every cycle since the vault's founding.

Head Coach Praises Offense's 'Rhythm' Following A Drive That Stalled At Midfield

He confirmed the rhythm was, at minimum, present.

Rookie Stunned By National Media Turnout At A Routine Walkthrough

Sixty reporters showed up. Twelve asked about Jerry.

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